First i should start by saying i am not an artist in the drawing and painting sense, but i really admire the work other people do. I am a writer and an admirer of all things natural and beautiful...

I am a gentleman and one of the few people left in this world who still believes in honour. I follow my own code of honour and i hold it above all things except love. Love is intergral to my state of being, the feelings associated with love are so intense and so amazing, i could not live without them, whether they are good or bad.

I would consider myself one of the very few 'nice guys' in the world, and as such, the world seems determined to keep me down. I truely understand the phrase 'nice guys finish last', because it is completely true, a nice guy never finishes first. I have been extremely depressed lately, and have been in some states i don't want to return to in a hurry...

I have not been happy for a long time, and i see no signs of it improving. Recently though i have started to feel quite numb, forcing myself not to feel any emotion, and it is a welcome relief to not feel the pain in my heart, of being so alone...

I want to be a hero, an old age hero likes the greeks had others famous ones in war or in fantasy stories...it sounds stupid, but i know thats what i want, i want my name to be remembered, i want people to remember my name long after i'm dead...but in this world such a thing is not possible. There are no heroes anymore, there is no honour left in war, war is a pointless thing now, and there is no reason for men to die needlessly.

I doubt that anyone will bother reading all the way through this, as no-one is ever interested in me or what i think or feel, but if you did, i thank you for listening...

*bows his head*

Kaleth, Akhoi Blackheart Be'shou